Another year older

Ok so what has it been, 2 months since my last blog?? I keep meaning to write but I always seem to forget! So much has happened in the last couple of months, mainly my trip to Uganda in July, which has to be (without sounding cheesy) the most humbling, thought provoking trip I have ever made.
Alain rang me on Saturday evening asking if I would get up in church on Sunday night and be interviewed about our trip, which i agreed to, even though the thought of getting up to speak infront of that many people scares the pants off me! I did my best but I couldn't help but feel a tad frustrated afterwards because of all the things I had in my head to say I hardly said any of them! I could have talked all night about my experience (my first in Africa) But i barely even touched on the surface. The whole time I was there I was just so aware of God around us. He was in each and every child that touched my hand, He was in the teachers who were so happy to see us there, I have never felt so surrounded.
I really feel so proud and so privilaged to have been a part of the building and I am definately going back..no questions. You really need to be there to understand why I am finding it so hard to describe it. I'm not going to talk a load of waffle trying to, so please come and ask me about it and I will happily chat to you for hours about it!
On another note, it's my 24th birthday tomorrow! Scotty and I are heading up to Portrush to his caravan for the day and we are going to try a apot of body boarding, then head out for a wee bit of dinner in my favourite restaurant...The Ramore Wine bar!!
I will try to blog a bit more frequently from now on...i never stick to any routines in the summer!!
Love love love!!

A little bit of clarity?

I'm sure if you read my last post you will have realised that i have been slightly frustrated with things of late...work being the main thing. Some of you may know that I have been applying to join the police. I got word back last week there that I was unsuccessful yet again. I had completed the Initial Selection test, and the successful candidates go through to the next stage. The pass mark for this test was 52...i got 51. Gutted isn't the word! Although I have been having thoughts that maybe the police isn't for me (I thought this before I heard I hadn't been successful) and so my thoughts turned to jobs that I think I would want to do, a job that I will enjoy, and one that I think I will be good at. I have found myself back at a thought I had when I was a youngster...Beauty Therapy. This is something I have always wanted to do, but then I went to university to do languages so it never entered my head again. Now that I know I don't want a job using languages (what a waste I hear you cry!!) i needed to get my thinking cap on as time is rolling on and I aint getting any younger or richer!! So in October 2009 (good things come to those who wait eh??) I shall be enrolling in the Roberta Mechan College of Beauty and I don't think I have been as excited about anything else! I think I would be good at this job, I think I will really enjoy it and in the future i hope to open my own salon...so for your future spray tan or waxing needs i'm your woman!!
One other thing that has been brought to my attention is a comment Scotty made on a recent blog about marriage being on the cards soon...i'm still waiting for that!! haha (get a move on Scotty!!) xxxxx

Rant...Contentment

Do you ever have one of those days when you just feel like crap but have no real reason to? I'm having one of those days. I don't know why. I feel that this may be a bit of a sour post, but hey, blogging is about truth isn't it? I realise that a few posts ago i was writing about my happiness...how ironic. I find it so wierd how one little thing can bring down your whole mood.
I'm at a point in my life right now where i really have no idea where i'm meant to be, what i'm meant to be doing, or more importantly, where God wants me. I know i don't want to be in retail all my life (i'm in no way knocking those who make their living this way, i'm just saying it's not for me). Pastor Phil was speaking about contentment on Sunday evening, something i feel i need a little bit more of at the minute, not in one particular area of my life, in fact, a little bit in every aspect would be great. Philippians 4 v 11 says, "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances"....Sometimes i wonder to myself, is it possible to ever be completely content with everything in your life? Like i mean EVERYTHING? These are just my own thoughts, stupid as they may seem. This is written in the study part of my Bible under the above verse...

"Are you content in any circumstances you face? Paul knew how to be content whether he had plenty or whether he was in need. The secret was drawing on Christ's power for strength. Do you have great needs, or are you discontented because you do not have what you want? Learn to rely on God's promises and Christ's power to help you be content. If you always want more, ask God to remove that desireand teach you contentment in every circumstance. He will supply all your needs, but in a way that He knows is best for you."

Injections = Nightmare!!!

Last Thursday i went to get the first of my injections for going to Uganda. I was rather nervous as i have a slight (and by slight i mean enormous) fear of needles. So i went into the wee room which was tiny, sat down on the seat and started answering all the necessary questions about my health etc... Then the part I hate...the nurse went over to a wee table and started fiddling around with the needle, getting it out of the wrapper etc (I know its wierd but when this is happening i can't concentrate on anything else!) So over she comes and gives me my first injection in my right arm...my foot is shaking like nothing else and she is jibbering on in my ear about random rubbish as she is trying to distract me! The first injection really wasn't that bad, i was getting another one in my left arm aswell so i thought that if that one was anything like the first one i'd be landed! So in goes the second needle and i feel like a pins and needles sensation in my arm, not really pleasant...then i turn to my mum (who i had with me for moral support!!) and I say that i'm not feeling too well. Next thing i remember i'm lying down on the seats with mum right up at my face with a cold towel trying to bring me around! I fainted! haha Mum later told me that when i started to black out my eyes rolled in my head and my mouth dropped to one side and siezed up then i had a full on siezure! Talk about drama! It took me about an hour to come round and when i got home i slept for the rest of the day! I can sort of laugh about it now but i think i really scared my mum and also the nurse who thought i was having an epileptic fit.
Now i have to get 4 more injections...lets just hope they run a bit more smoothly than the last 2!!

Cell

At Cell Last night we did a wee exercise which was pretty class, it really made me feel quite good about myself and gave me a really good feeling! First of all, let me say that in my every day life, i try my best to be happy. I don't just mean happy on the inside, but happy on the outside aswell...i try to do everything with a smile. It's always such a joy to hear that this happiness has been noticed. Anyway, this exercise lastnight...we all had to take a page and write our names at the top, then pass them round the room and each person had to write something positive about the person whose name was at the top of the page...make sense? Good. Here is what my page said...

1. A rock.
2. Disciple.
3. Friendly, Charming, talented, beautiful smile.
4. Great laugh and easy to get on with. Someone that you're glad to know. Top notch person. Friendly.
5. Easy to get on with and good company.
6. V. Cool! Bring on Uganda 08!!
7. Excellent company - very easy to get on with - friendly personality. Poor taste in men, Scott's a balloon (just kidding) (John Guy!!!)
8. Very cheery! - Cheers everyone up!

Now I don't know about you, but when someone says something nice about you, i can't help but feel a real boost. Here I have a page of 8 things people have said about me and I just feel so happy that people see a joy in me. I don't in any way want to sound like I am being big headed, I just want to out across that me Joy comes from God. Before I was a christian (I have been a Christian again for over a year..lots of crap in between....later post maybe??) I had a real sense of something missing in my life, I was and have always been happy, but I still knew something was missing. When I came back to the Lord, it was literally an overnight change for me, i suddenly had this joy that i hadn't felt in a long time. I know that joy comes from God. There may be hard times and some serious testings in my life, but i still try to live evry day with a smile. My smile was noticed lastnight at cell.

True

"I am as sure as I live that nothing is so near to me as God. God is nearer to me than I am to myself, my existence depends on the nearness and the presence of God..."

Last night at True Brother Thierry from the Monastery in Rostrevor came to speak to us about practicing the Presence of God...what a guy! I could actually have sat and listened to him all night!

I was really challenged by him in quite a few ways actually, but one aspect in particular was about prayer. He said that as a monk, every day has 6 seperate times of prayer. Oh to have that discipline! I struggle so much with this sometimes. I would love to be disciplined enough to set aside a certain time in the day to pray. I'm not saying that i don't pray...it's just that with me, it tends to be little and often, and at no particular time. In Mark 1:35 it tells us that "Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed." As Christians it is our desire to follow this example...so why do I and many others find it so hard? Busy schedules? Love of sleep? Laziness? I think if I am honest I am guilty of all 3 of these things. But I have been so challenged to set aside some time of my own to pray. I am going to try this for a week to see how I get on, I am going to set aside other things which I may think are more important and spend my time with God, talking to Him and praying to Him, and really try to practice God's presence. I shall let you know how I get on...feel free to join with me!

"What if we realised that all God desires is our faithful attention so He can share Himself with us? What if we discovered that we love because God first loved us? This and more comes from practicing God's presence.
These are the essentials of the practice of God's presence, what Brother Lawrence called the holy habit: We engage in a continual, silent, and affectionate conversation with our Father. We walk with God in faith, love, humility, and simplicity. Out of love, we strive to do nothingand think nothing which may displease Him. Calling God to mind at every possible moment, every opportunity, we focus our attention on Him and silently say, "Thank you Father" throughout each Day."

Just a few musings for a Saturday morning

Good morning! Right now i'm lying in bed...it's great! Most mornings when i have to go to work i'm up at 7...i don't like that much! So it's nice to just chill under the covers once in a while! Isn't it really funny how when you're a kid it's like world war 3 trying to get you to go to bed? I remember my mum and dad constantly joining forces to escort my brother and I to bed, Sunday nights were the worst...there was always that horrible feeling of having to go back to school in the morning! Oh how things change...i find now that most days, bed is what i look forward to. Not that i'm lazy, i just like sleeping! I actually think im getting old before my time...i love nothing more than staying at home, watching tv with my mum and dad, or Scott, with a nice cup of tea and a wee biscuit, then bed! I never used to like doing that, when i was a bit younger i was NEVER in the house, i was always out and about with friends and mum used to joke that she forgot what i looked like!

I think it all changed for me during my 3rd year at university. I studied french, spanish and european studies up in good old Coleraine uni, and as part of my course, my 3rd year was spent living in France for 4 months in a tiny town called Pau (pronounced like the littlest tellytubby!) and then 4 months in Spain in the city of Granada. I was out with my good friend Kathryn the other night having a wee coffee in Starbucks and we got talking about our year abroad. I love being at home, i love everything about Northern Ireland, and i mean everything, no matter where i will go in life, whether i live in a different country, i will always return to Northern Ireland. It will always be home for me. I have done my fair share of travel in my life, but everything i love is in Northern Ireland. Anyway, living away for that year really made me realise the importance of family. When i was away, my mum and dad helped me out so much.

I remember one particular day in Spain very well. Kathryn and i had made one of our very frequent trips to the supermarket. I remember i was having a particularly hard day with missing home. I went to take out some cash from the autobank so i put my card in...nothing. Nothing came up on the screen and i pressed all kinds of buttons trying to get my card back...nothing. It had eaten my card, it was lost. Well right there in the middle of the supermarket i burst into tears. Kathryn stood trying to calm me down but nothing was working! We tried everthing, we went to the actual bank building to see if they had anyway of getting my card back but they ended up confusing me more...no was the answer but they didnt just say that!! haha Anyway, mym mum drove up to my friend Kathryn's house to give her mum some money to put in her account so she could take it out for me, then my mum had to drive back to my bank in Moira and sort out a new card for me then have it posted out. It was so much hassle for something ehich to them probably seemed quite funny. But my point is, my mum did that for me without so much as a roll of the eye or any complaint.

This is why i like being at home so much...i love my mum, my dad and my brother so much, and lots of things in the past year or so have happened which really makes me think about how precious our time here is.

Anyway, i have the Unganda auction fundraiser tonight. I'm on the waitressing team. Its going to be a really good night i think!

God Bless x